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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144899">esprit sur le toit (rooftop wit)</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnefatale/pseuds/funnefatale'>funnefatale</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Batgirl (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, DCU</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/F, Fluff and Crack, Friendship/Love, Press and Tabloids</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-12-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-10 16:14:24</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>2,757</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/28144899</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/funnefatale/pseuds/funnefatale</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>The first thing she’s going to do when finals are finished, Steph decides, is hunt down every last paparazzi and throw batarangs at their cameras. Maybe their computers too while she’s at it. Whatever it takes to make sure she’s never written about again. Because, as it turns out, way too many people are invested in her love life.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Stephanie Brown/Cassandra Cain</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>19</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>83</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Yuletide 2020</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>esprit sur le toit (rooftop wit)</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/gifts"></a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>happy yuletide! hope you enjoy reading this as much as i enjoyed writing it!</p><p>i'm not sure which iteration of batgirl you wanted, but i haven't read much post-new 52 so this is based off steph's run.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The first time she sees her name in the headline, Steph doesn’t really think anything of it. It’s Gotham after all, that’s just sort of how it goes — if you step within ten feet of a Wayne or a Bat, you’re bound to end up on at least one third-rate tabloid. And between Spoiler, Batgirl, and Steph, there’s certainly no shortage of sightings for her.</p><p>Honestly, at this point you’d think it’d be old news. The number of times she’s been seen with literally any of Bruce’s kids — both in and out of costume — is kind of ridiculous. But the vultures parading around as some sort of press eat it up every damn time. There was even that one time she ran into Jason during some heist and for the next month all she saw were tabloids convinced Batgirl and Red Hood were dating. Which, frankly, is almost as laughable as the time they thought Bruce had adopted her.</p><p>So, really, an article about her and Cass by some C-rate wannabe journalist is no big deal.</p><p>At least it was the first six times. There’s only so much a girl can take.</p><p>
  <em>Cassandra Wayne and Gal Pal Stephanie Brown Sneak Out for an Early Brunch. </em>
</p><p>It was actually a late night waffle snack after an eight hour patrol with Black Bat that then turned into a round of rooftop tag she lost. Again. After all these years, you’d think she’d learn to not make bets with Cassandra freaking Cain.</p><p>Cass presses her lips when she hears it. “Gal Pal...?” she repeats slowly, as if she’s not entirely sure those are the words she just heard.</p><p>Steph groans. “Don’t ask.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So, as it turns out, it might have been a big deal.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Maybe it’s on her for running on only three hours of sleep, but between patrolling and finals, she really doesn’t have the time for much more.</p><p>Actually, no, based on the way everyone else is walking around campus, she might be one of the more rested pre-med students. Really, this is the default state of the average college student. So this <em>absolutely </em>is not on her.</p><p>Besides, Bat or not, who in the world expects to be knocked out by Harley freaking Quinn on the way to chem lab?</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>As if having Harley get the jump on her wasn’t bad enough, Steph wakes up tied to a chair in what she has to assume is Harely’s lair of the week, a giant stack of tabloids in front of her. Tabloids featuring her and Cass, specifically.</p><p>“Can you believe this crap?” Harley cries, dramatically kicking the pile so the pile of magazines goes flying everywhere. “<em>Gal pals</em>? I mean, <em>come on.</em> Are they stupid or what?” she grumbles, plopping down in a chair in front of Steph. “I can tell you one thing, that’s not the song they were singing that time you went to lunch with that Grayson cutie and he’s <em>way </em>too old for you.”</p><p>Steph stares at Harley for a beat, her mind trying to process everything.</p><p>Then another.</p><p>And another.</p><p>“<em>What</em>?”</p><p>This has to be a joke. That or Harley knocked her upside the head so hard that she actually has a concussion right now. Or maybe sprayed her with some weird Joker laughing gas and this is all some sort of sick hallucination. <em>Something</em>. Because there’s no way she’s actually hearing this right.<em> Harley Quinn</em> is invested in Wayne tabloid drama? That…</p><p>Okay, actually, that kind of makes sense.</p><p>But would the universe really do this to her?</p><p>Don’t answer that.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>So it turns out Harley isn’t invested in Wayne tabloid drama so much as she is freaking <em>obsessed </em>with it. Specifically, the tabloid drama centering around which of the Wayne kids Steph is supposedly dating that week. And by Wayne kids, she really means Cass.</p><p>“Listen kid,” Harley says. “You should let her know how you feel. And don’t you try to deny it!” She points an accusatory finger at Steph before she even has the chance to. “Because it’s pretty obvious you’re in love with her and we both know it. I mean, <em>come on</em>."</p><p>She grabs the nearest tabloid without looking at it and waves it frantically for Steph to see. It has a grainy picture of Steph stuffing a crab cake into her mouth while standing between Cass and Tim at some fancy Wayne Enterprise Function she got dragged to over the summer. She's pretty sure Harley couldn’t have picked a less romantic — or less flattering — photo if she had tried. At least she hopes there aren’t any less flattering than that.</p><p>Harley, however, hardly seems to notice or care.</p><p>“I mean, the way you look at her? Now if that ain’t love I don’t know what is!” Harley sighs dreamily, almost melting back into her chair. Then straightens up and looks at Steph very seriously. “But here’s the thing kiddo, I don’t know if this Cassandra Wayne knows, and she deserves to. So you gotta tell her. And you gotta make it special too. Something big and dramatic. You know how these rich kids love their dramatics.”</p><p>“Yeah,” Steph mumbles. “Totally a rich kid thing.”</p><p>Harley grins, big and bright. “Exactly! See, I knew you would get it.”</p><p>Steph almost preferred it when Harley had her knocked out.</p><p>“Okay, so here’s what I’m thinking.” Harley continues.</p><p>“Actually—”</p><p>Harley ignores her, either oblivious to or uninterested in anything Steph may have to say. “I kidnap you and send a ransom note to the Waynes. They pay up. Then when I release you, you run up and tell her how you feel and kiss her, all big and romantic. That way she knows <em>and</em> all of Gotham knows. Then they can cut it out with these stupid gal pal articles.”</p><p>“Uh-huh,” Steph says. “And I suppose you keep the ransom money?”</p><p>Harley shrugs. “Well, yeah. Consider it a consultation fee.”</p><p>You know what, Steph <em>definitely </em>preferred it when she was knocked out.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By the time she’s picked the locks on Harley’s handcuffs, Black Bat shows up because o<em>f course</em> she appears just when Steph is about to rescue herself. Harley takes one good look at Black Bat, ready to strike at the first sign, and seems to decide that her work here is done.</p><p>“Remember what I said, kid! Big and dramatic!” Harley calls as she runs off.</p><p>Cass seems to decide that either Harley isn’t a real threat or that checking on Steph is a higher priority, because she doesn’t chase after Harley. Instead she looks at Steph, rubbing her (red and sore but otherwise fine) wrists and rolling her eyes, and Cass visibly relaxes.</p><p>“What was she talking about?” she asks.</p><p>Steph groans. “Tabloid gossip,” she says and then realizes that actually doesn’t clarify anything at all. She sighs. “Harley wanted to give me dating advice.”</p><p>Cass raises a brow. “Oh?” she says, the edges of her lips tugging up into a smirk. It’s still strange, Steph thinks, being able to see her mouth in costume. Not that she’s complaining. There are definitely worse things to look at while patrolling. “Anything good?” she asks.</p><p>“You say that like I need to take dating advice from Harley Quinn.”</p><p>Cass shrugs. “Couldn’t hurt.”</p><p>“Uh, <em>rude</em>,” Steph says, but smiles.</p><p>Cass smiles back in this mischievous way that infuriates her but also makes her chest swell. It’s really annoying, Steph thinks. Boderline infuriating, really. So even though she knows she absolutely shouldn’t while Cass is suited up, for a moment she considers closing the space between them and wiping that smile off Cass’s lips. With her lips.</p><p>She just really wants to kiss her, okay?</p><p>Except her phone chooses that exact moment to ring because — <em>oh right</em> — she’s supposed to be meeting her lab partners right now. And just like that, she snaps back to reality and sighs.</p><p>“Hey, where are we? Please tell me Harley didn’t drag me too far from campus…”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By some miracle, her lab partners don’t kill her for being late.</p><p>The one good thing about Gotham being filled by Rogues? You always have a perfectly good excuse for not being on time.</p><p>Especially when you have the handcuff marks to prove it.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Three hours and a completed chem project later, Steph leaves her lab partners to head to the library. She still has half a psych paper and an entire calc review to finish (or at least, you know, start) before the sun rises. Then a power nap before meeting with her biology study group. Then...</p><p>“Boo.”</p><p>Steph looks up to see Black Bat hanging upside down from a tree, her legs hooked over the edge of a branch like, well, like some sort of literal bat. She grins playfully before she jumps down, landing so gracefully in front of Steph that it would be annoying if it weren’t Cass.</p><p>“Hey stranger,” Steph says, only just realizing how big she’s grinning. It’s only been a few hours, but unexpectedly seeing Cass twice in one night? In the midst of finals? It’s like Santa came early. “What brings you here?”</p><p>Cass holds up a bag. “Waffles.”</p><p>Right on cue, her stomach grumbles embarrassingly loud. Right. Food. She knew she was forgetting something.</p><p>“My hero,” Steph says, taking the bag from Cass, her fingers intentionally lingering over hers. “Saving me twice in one night. How will I ever repay you?” she teases.</p><p>“Get some sleep tonight.”</p><p>Wow. Way to kill her moment.</p><p>Before she even has a chance to complain, Cass looks past her. “We have company.”</p><p>Steph glances back over her shoulder to see one of her lab partners, a transfer from outside of Gotham, staring at them in shock. Behind her, she feels the slightest breeze and she doesn’t have to look back to know that Cass is gone.</p><p>“Oh. My. God,” her lab partner says running over, his eyes wide and bloodshot from too much caffeine and too little sleep. “Steph, you know <em>Batgirl</em>?”</p><p>She sighs.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>In Steph’s defense, she knew that Harley kidnapping her over some half-baked scheme to get back at the paparazzi wasn’t going to just end like that. If there’s one thing she’s learned about Harley Quinn over the years, it’s that the woman is <em>determined </em>when she wants something. So yeah, Steph absolutely expects her to pop back up, ready to follow through with her plan to kidnap Steph for ransom money.</p><p>What she doesn’t expect, however, is for the follow through to come three days later, just as the sun is coming up and she’s heading home to try to get an hour of sleep before her calculus exam. She also doesn’t expect it to come from the ground up.</p><p>Literally.</p><p>One second she’s walking, the next she’s hanging upside down fifteen feet in the air, her limbs held in place by plants that definitely weren’t there a second ago.</p><p>Poison Ivy smirks at her. “Stephanie Brown? We need to talk.”</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>The first thing she’s going to do when finals are finished, Steph decides, is hunt down every last paparazzi and throw batarangs at their cameras. Maybe their computers too while she’s at it. Whatever it takes to make sure she’s never written about again. Because, as it turns out, <em>way </em>too many people are invested in her love life.</p><p>“—So, really, you should tell Cassandra how you feel. I know it’s scary, but it’s worth it.”</p><p>“Uh-huh,” Steph says, debating whether it’s worth busting her cover just to get out of this conversation. “And I don’t suppose this has anything to do with that time the <em>Gotham Tattler </em>referred to you and Harley Quinn as <em>Gal Pals</em>, does it?”</p><p>Poison Ivy scowls. “I hate that term. Gal Pals. Ugh.”</p><p>Steph’s tempted to tell her to go after the bozo who wrote that article instead so she can try to get thirty minutes of sleep before her next final, but she bites her tongue at the last second. Knowing her luck right now, Ivy would actually think that’s a good idea and then Batgirl would have to come to his rescue. Which would definitely kill any chance of her getting literally any sleep.</p><p>“Yeah, yeah, it’s the worst. Can I go now?”</p><p>Ivy glares. “This is <em>serious</em>,” she snaps. Then pauses and sighs before flicking her wrist. The plant holding her finally shrinks back down, returning to the earth and gently releasing her on the ground. “Talk to her. You won’t regret it.”</p><p>Steph presses her lips together, weighing her options, before saying, “Okay. I’ll think about it.”</p><p>Ivy smiles. “Good. Harley will be glad to hear. She won’t stop talking about you two.”</p><p>Steph sighs dramatically and, against all instinct and training, spins on her heel and just walks away.</p><p>She’ll be lucky to get twenty minutes of sleep at this point.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>By some miracle, Steph makes through the rest of her exams without another Rogue cornering her about her relationship with Cass. She turns in her last paper five minutes before the deadline and celebrates by spending the rest of the day asleep.</p><p>She also sleeps through three alarms, making her two hours late to patrolling with Cass.</p><p><em>Sorry</em>, she texts Cass. <em>On my way. </em></p><p>Of course Cass isn’t exactly a texter so it doesn’t actually matter. Steph doubts she even has her phone on her at this point. But there’s also no way Steph’s risking reaching out via Bat Comms because she’s not entirely convinced Bruce isn’t always listening in on those and the last thing she needs is him lecturing her on being late. Or on pushing herself so hard that she needs that much sleep.</p><p>The problem then, Steph finds as Batgirl races across rooftops, is that she has no idea how to even find Cass at this point. Which means she’ll probably have to spend her first post-exam patrol alone.</p><p>Ugh. What a way to celebrate the end of the semester.</p><p>“Your Gal Pal is on Third and Green,” a familiar voice hums behind her.</p><p>Maybe it’s stress from not knowing if her History of Gotham paper actually made sense, maybe it’s the fact that this is the third time in forty-eight hours a Rogue has cornered her, maybe it’s just that she <em>really </em>wants to see Cass but can’t find her. Whatever it is, she doesn’t care, because she’s <em>done</em>.</p><p>“I’m not taking any dating advice from a Rogue!” she snaps, spinning around and pointing an accusatory finger.</p><p>Catwoman raises a brow and she stares at Steph for a beat.</p><p>Then another.</p><p>Realization sinks in.</p><p>“And you weren’t offering it, were you?”</p><p>“Nope,” Selina clicks her tongue. “But,” she smirks mischievously, “If you need some, I’m sure Batman can help you out.”</p><p>Before she has the chance to react, Catwoman jumps down from the building, leaving behind only the echo of a cackle.</p><p>Steph groans and falls back on the ground, burying her face in her hands.</p><p> </p><p> </p><p>Fingers brushes over hers, gently tugging her hands out of her face. Black Bat looks down at her, a worried purse to her lips.</p><p>“Did you hit your head?” she asks, gesturing to the back of Steph’s head pressed against the cement. “I saw Catwoman.”</p><p>“She was telling me where to find you,” Steph says, her lips forming into a smile at the sight of Cass. “Sorry, I slept through my alarms. Guess I was more tired from exams than I expected.”</p><p>Cass nods. “I assumed.” Her fingers brush against the edge of Steph’s cowl. “Are you okay? You fell.”</p><p>Steph catches Cass’s hand before she can pull it back, her fingers intertwining with hers. “I’m fine.” Especially now that Cass found her.</p><p>Still, Cass frowns. “Prove it,” she says seriously. “Whistle.”</p><p>“Whistle?” Steph asks, a brow raised. Cass nods seriously and waits. “Uh, okay.”</p><p>She presses her lips together but the second the sound comes out, Cass leans down and brushes her lips against Steph’s, the peck just barely grazing her lips before she pulls back. “Tag,” Cass says with a smirk. “You’re it.”</p><p>Then, just like that, she’s gone, already running off to the next roof before Steph can even sit up.</p><p>“Hey! That’s not fair!” she shouts, scrambling to get up. “Cheater!”</p><p>She doesn’t have to see Cass’s face to know she’s smirking in that obnoxiously hot way. “All’s fair in love and war,” she calls back.</p><p>Steph laughs as she takes off running, already knowing, but barely caring, that she’s lost the game.</p><p>Her girlfriend really is the worst.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>
  <a href="https://twitter.com/artngbubu/status/1330519187974991875?s=19">insp.</a>
</p><p> </p><p>special thanks to <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/lookatallthemoresigive/pseuds/lookatallthemoresigive">lookatallthemoresigive</a> for beta-ing and helping me brainstorm.</p></blockquote></div></div>
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